I lost my husband Jason Naccarato on 10/23/17, but to be honest, he was gone long before that dreadful day. Jason suffered for many years from a bad back that he sustained from an accident at work. After years and years of prescription medications, which included Oxycontin and Percocet, someone unfortunately introduced him to heroin, and that was the beginning of the end.
For the next couple of years, Jason lied about everything to cover up his addiction, and we were completely clueless. Money and checks would disappear from an envelope or my purse and he made me believe I had lost them. I thought I was going crazy. Jewelry was missing and he convinced me that I must have misplaced it, when in fact, it had been pawned for cash to buy heroin. I truly thought I was going insane. It all came out into the open when I received a letter from the bank that our house was in foreclosure. We were able to save the house, and Jason promised he would quit, but he couldn't. Jason overdosed at an intersection shortly thereafter. Narcan saved his life, and that's when he went to rehab for almost a year. Silly me, I thought our troubles were over.
In May, Jason bought me a new car, and 3 months later in July, he totaled it. He was high on heroin and left the scene and begged me to tell the police it was me driving and not him. He got arrested and I decided I would leave him then and there… tough love, right? Wrong. Jason convinced me that this was it. He wanted the help and was tired and couldn't do this anymore. So I bailed him out. I couldn't leave him there. I loved him so much and I thought it would be better to bring him home and help him go cold turkey. I took a LOA from work and stayed home helping him get clean, dealing with the shakes, puking, withdrawals, anger... I dealt with it all. I thought I did well and even purchased opiate drug tests to ensure he would stay clean. Then one night, I brought my daughter to Girl Scouts. I was only gone 10 minutes and that's all Jay needed. When I got back, he was completely out of it, standing in the basement, eyes pinpointed and couldn't even hear me calling out to him. That was it... the last straw.
I picked up my daughter, packed a bag and brought her to a friend's house. I told him I was leaving. Couldn't do it anymore. Jason insisted he was fine and was angry that I was accusing him again. He got dressed, and walked out. And that was the last time I saw him. He called me to say goodbye, and I told him to come home. Jason said he was going home, kind of, just not the home I thought. He told me he couldn't live without me and told me he loved me and that I was wrong, he was clean. He had left a cup of urine on the sink for me to test to prove it. But I said no, I wouldn't test it because I didn't see him fill it himself. He said ok and hummed a song. I heard a crashing sound and water, and cars driving in the background. I called the police and a silver alert was issued.
A few hours later, I read on Facebook that a body was found at the park near my house. I jumped into my truck and drove over there. The fireman and ambulance workers wouldn't let me through or tell me anything. Finally, my cousin's husband who was the officer on duty walked toward me. I yelled out, "Hey, that wasn’t Jason's body they found, right?" He pretended not to hear me. "Please tell me that wasn't Jason you found," I called out again and nothing. Finally, I said, "Hector, PLEASE tell me that wasn't Jason's body you found," and he answered, "I wish I could, but I can't." I collapsed hysterically. Jason was the love of my life and it was over just like that. His body was face down, partially in the water with a needle stuck in his arm. That's the noise I heard on the phone...a crash, water and cars because the highway was above the bridge. I heard him fall when his heart stopped after he shot up. I heard Jason die. Why, why did he have to die like that? I thought it was my fault because I shouldn't have told him I was leaving. But it wasn't my fault...Jason had been getting high the whole time, and the urine he left behind on the sink wasn't his, I had come to find out a few days later. Jason lied until the end. He didn't love me anymore… HEROIN was his new love. I lost the love of my life, my soulmate of 17 years, to heroin.